2016-03-23

33 Things That Are Just Too Real for Missionary Kids

1. You don't really know where you belong in the world.



2. You don't know how to deal with the question, "Where are you from?"



3. And even if you answered, nobody would know what country you were talking about.

"Papua New Guinea? ...That's like, in Africa, right?"

4. Any other MK you meet for the first time is basically your best friend.



5. Your life story contains the phrase "Then we went to..." six times.


6. The most painful experiences of your life have been saying goodbyes. So. Many. Goodbyes.



7. But you get antsy when you've been in one place for too long.


8. You have a tried and true list of the best airports to spend an 8-hour layover in.


9. And you can't fathom how it's even possible that some people have never left their home province or state.


10. You grew up with a maid, but have to convince people that this doesn't mean you were rich.


11. You don't need a translation to understand the natives in National Geographic documentaries about those random tribes in the middle of nowhere.


"Oh, yu wantok bilong mi!"

12. When you go on furlough everyone asks you what it feels like to be home, but you feel like you just left it.


13. Being "home" on furlough actually means you'll be road-tripping for months, asking people for money, and being on your best behaviour 24/7.


14. The best part about furlough is getting to go to McDonald's.



15. And the huge shopping malls.



16. And the smooth roads.



17. Until the lack of potholes gives you the driving version of finding your land legs.



18. The worst part about furlough is having to wear a seatbelt.



19. And winter. Or really any season where the temperature gets below 20°C (72°F).


20. You actually crave the excitement of tribal warfare.


21. Trying to learn how to do makeup is basically a disaster because you've lived without it for most of your life.


22. You don't understand fashion trends. At all.

"Are we in Hunger Games?"

23. The majority of your wardrobe is comprised of hand-me-down clothing from random strangers, churches, and secondhand stores.


24. You have an unreasonable aversion to wearing shoes.


25. You feel like you are losing your identity if the soles of your feet get clean and soft.


26. Rain on a tin roof is the best sound in the entire world.


27. Thunderstorms are just an opportunity to play in the rain.


28. You always know what time it is in at least 5 different time zones in the world.


29. Your parents scold you in a foreign language when other people are around.



30. And they make you do weird things purely for the entertainment the picture will someday bring to non-missionaries.

Me with a baby orangutan that had digestive problems.

31. Nothing can give you food poisoning.


32. You're a little bit weird, and there's nothing you can do about it.


33. But at the end of the day, you wouldn't trade all the crazy and wonderful and soul-wrenching experiences you have had for anything, because they have made you who you are today. And you are awesome. ♥